by Harper & Brothers Publishers. Eve and That Snake WELL, a long time ago things was diffrunt. Hit wa’n’t nothin’ on de yearth ’cause hit wa’n’t no yearth. And hit wa’n’t nothin’ nowheres and ev’y day was Sunday. Wid de Lawd r’ared back preachin’ all day long ev’y day. ’Ceptin’ on Sadday, and den ev’ybody went to de fish fry. So one day ev’ybody was out to de fish fry, eatin’ fish and b’iled custard and carryin’ on, to all at once de Lawd swallowed some b’iled custard which didn’t suit his tas’e. Page 2. “ Dis custard,” say de Lawd, “ ain’t seasoned right. Hit’s too thick.” “ Hit’s got a heap of sugar and aigs and milk and things “ I know,” say de Lawd, “ but hit tas’es like hit needs jest a little bit more firmament in hit.” “ Us ain’t got no more firmament, Lawd,” say Gabriel. “ Us ain’t got a drap in de jug.” “ You been usin’ a heap of firmament,” say de Lawd. “ Seem like ev’y time I come to a fish fry I got to create some more firmament, I bet I’m gonter make enough dis time to last a month of Sundays. I’m sick and tired of passin’ a miracle ev’y time I wants some firmament.” So de Lawd r’ared back and passed a miracle And you jest ought to see de firmament! Hit jest sloshed all over ev’ything so de angels and cherubs couldn’t hardly fly, and ev’ybody was standin’ round, knee deep, shiverin’ and chattering and squirming’ round. Page 3. “ Well,” say de mammy angel, “ I guess I better git my cherubs and git on home and dry ’em out. They’s shiverin’ like they got a buck aguer, right now.” “ Don’t go bustin’ up de fish fry jest ’cause de cherubs So de Lawd passed another miracle and “ Dis ain’t gittin’ us nowheres,” say “ Good idea,” say Gabriel, “ only hit ain’t no ’count, ’cause hit ain’t no place to dreen hit off to.” “ Well,” say de Lawd, “ I guess I got to pass another miracle and make a place to dreen hit off to. Hit look like when I git started passin’ miracles hit’s always somethin’ else.” So he r’ared back and passed a miracle and said, “ Let hit be de yearth to hold dis firmament.” And dar was de yearth. Page 4. Well, de firmament runned on de yearth, and hit runned in de rivers and creeks and ditches— ’cause firmament wa’n’t nothin but a fancy name for water— and dar was “ Now looky what you done done, Well, de Lawd looked round to see who he gonter send to work his land, and all de angels was mighty busy. “ Well,” he say, “ I guess I got to pass one more miracle to git somebody to work dat land. And I bet de next time I pass So de Lawd got a handful of dirt and made hit in a ball and passed a miracle over hit and say, “ Let dis dirt be mankind.” And de dirt turn to a man. De Lawd looked at de man and say, “ What’s yo’ name, man? ” “ Adam,” say de man. “ Adam—which? ” say de Lawd. “ Jest plain Adam,” say de man. Page 5. “ What’s yo’ family name? ” say de Lawd. “ Ain’t got no family,” say Adam. “ Well,” say de Lawd, “ I got to change “ I don’t run around wid no women,” “ Yeah? say de Lawd. “ But I ain’t gonter take no chances. Yo’ heart might be all right now, but de first So de Lawd put Adam to sleep and tuck out “ Where’d you come from, gal? ” say Adam. “ No mind whar I come So Adam and Eve got married and settle down to raise Page 6. So ev’ything went along all right to summertime. Eve was out pickin’ blackberries, and de Lawd come wawkin’ down de road. “ Good mawnin’, Sister Eve,” say “ A few, Lawd,” say Eve. “ Adam ’lowed he’d like to has some for preserves next winter.” “ Help yo’self,” say de Lawd. “ Put up all de blackberries you want. And peaches too. And plums, ef’n you and Adam likes ’em. Hit ain’t but one thing which I don’t want you to tech, and dat’s de apple orchard. ’Cause from de news I yars, Apples is kind of scarce and they ought to bring a good price next fall. So help yo’self to de berries and de peaches and things, but jest stay out of de apples.” Well, hit jest goes to show you. Eve didn’t like apples and Adam didn’t too. But no quicker do de Lawd wawk on down de road to Eve see a great big highland moccasin crawlin’ long twarg her. “ Look at dat scound’el,” say Eve, and she pick up a rock, “ I’m gonter mash his old haid quick as I gits a shot at him.” So de snake crawls through de apple orchard fence, and Eve climbs over hit. Page 7. Well, Eve and dat snake went round and round. Eve was chunkin’ at him and de snake was dodgin’ to finally Eve got a clear shot at him and she r’ared back and let de big rock go. Eve was all right, but she was a woman. And hit ain’t never yit been a woman which could throw straight. So Eve missed de snake and hit de apple tree. And down come a big red apple, right in front of her. “ Well, I be doggone!” she say. “ Look at dat apple!” So she stood and looked at hit a long time. “ I didn’t aim to knock hit “ Don’t taste like much,” she say. “ I wonder do Adam want to eat hit?” So she tuck de apple out to whar Adam was plowin’ de cawn, and give hit to him. “ I don’t like apples, gal,” say Adam. “ Whyn’t you give me somethin’ I like?” “ Cou’se you don’t like apples,” say Eve. “ You don’t never like nothin’ I gives you. You got to think of hit yo’self before you likes hit,” and Eve blubbers up and commences to cry. Page 8. “ Aw, don’t cry, sugar,” say Adam. “ I was jest funnin’ wid you. I likes apples. Give me a bite.” “ Nawp,” say Eve. “ You’s jest mean, dat’s what you is. You treats me mean ’cause I ain’t nothin’ but a poor little weak woman and you’s a big, stout man. I ain’t gonter give you nothin’.” “ Aw, honey, don’t tawk like dat,” saw Adam. “ Dat ain’t de way hit is, a-all. I was jest playin’ wid you. Give me a bite of apple and I buys you Well, when a man go to tawkin’ new dresses to a woman he gonter git some action. So Eve dry up her cryin’ and Adam et de apple and got her De Lawd seed Eve’s new dress and he found out all about hit. And he got mad, ’cause he didn’t aim to have nobody on his place which stole his apples. So he bailed old Adam’s trover and leveled on his crop and mule, and put Adam and Eve off’n de place. And de next news anybody yared of old Adam, he was down on de levee tryin’ to git a job at six bits a day. Populating the Earth WELL, Adam and Eve had two chilluns name Cain and Abel. So when Adam got to gittin’ along in de years so’s he couldn’t do no heavy work, he called his boys and say: “ Well, you boys better settle down and git to work. I and de old lady been s’portin y’all up to now and hit’s about time y’all was s’portin’ me and yo’ maw.” Page 10. “ Well,” says Abel, “ I b’lieve I’ll herd de sheep.” “ You smells like a sheep, anyhow,” says Cain. “ Boys!” says Eve. “ Don’t start argyin’ and fightin’ again.” “ Abel started hit,” say Cain. “ I bet I’m gonter start you,” say Abel. “ And git yo’ nappy haid busted wid a rock,” say Cain. So Adam reached for de poker and de boys went on out and went to work. Abel went out and lay back on de hillside, herdin’ de sheep and sleepin’, and Cain got de mule and plow and started dirtin’ de cawn down in de creek bottom. Well, Cain was plowin’ ’long, ’tendin’ to his own business, and Abel was layin’ back in de shade watchin’ him work. To all at once Abel decided he’d have some fone outn Cain, so he say: “ Well, Cain, how is you gittin’ along wid yo’ work? ” “ Mindin’ my own business; dat’s how,” say Cain. “And you better mind yo’s.” “ Me, I’d be skeered to git out in dat hot sun,” say Abel. “ Hit might cook my brains. Cou’se hit ain’t gonter cook yo’ brains ’cause you ain’t got no brains to git cooked.” Page 11. “ You better go on, now,” say Cain. “ I ain’t botherin’ you. But naw, you ain’t got sense enough to know when you’s happy. So you jest gonter keep messin’ round me to I gits mad and scatter you all over de hillside.” Abel laughed and r’ared back and started to sing: “ What you gonter do when de devil gits you ? Hoe cawn and dig I’sh taters, Lawd, Lawd !” “ Well, dat was mo’n Cain could stand, so he up wid a rock and ker-blip! He tuck Abel behind de year, and Abel sort of grinned and rolled over, lookin’ jest as natchal as efn he had a lily in his hand. Well, dem was de days when de Lawd wawked de yearth like a natchal man. So de Lawd wawked up to Cain and say, “ Cain, looky what you done did to Abel.” “ I ain’t studdin’ Abel,” say Cain. “ I was mindin’ my own business and he come monkeyin’ round wid me. So I up and flang a rock at him and efn hit missed him, all right, and efn hit hit him, all right. One way or de yuther, I ain’t studdin’ Abel and nobody which looks like him.” Page 12. “All right,” say de Lawd, “ but I’m yar to tell you de sheriff is liable to git you. And when de new jedge gits done tawking’ to you about hit, you’ll be draggin’ a ball and chain de rest of yo’ life.” “ Well, what did he want to come monkeyin’ round me for, den? ” say Cain. “ I was jest plowin’ and mindin’ my own business and not payin’ him no mind. And yar he come puttin’ me in de dozens. Cou’se I busted him wid a rock. I’d bust anybody which put me in de dozens. Black or white.” “ Well, I ain’t sayin’ you’s wrong, say de Lawd, and I ain’t sayin’ you’s right. Onderstand? But what I is sayin’ is dis: Was I you, and scusin’ how hard de new jedge is, I’d jest git my hat and git myself on down de road. And I wouldn’t stop to I got plum out’n de county, too. And den when I got out’n de county, I’d take and git married and settle down and raise me a family and forgit all about Abel. ’Cause hit ain’t nothin’ which kin settle a man down and make him forgit his yuther troubles like gittin’ married and havin’ a lot of chilluns and things runnin’ round de house.” So Cain tuck de harness off’n de mule and rid off. He rid for fawty days and fawty nights and de first think he know he was over in a place name Nod. Page 13. “ Well,” say Cain, “ Yar’s whar I settles down and raises me some chilluns.” So he got off’n his mule and tied him to a stump and set down in the shade to wait. About dat time de Lawd wawked up. “ What you waitin’ for, Cain? ” say de Lawd. “ I’s waitin’ for a woman to come down de road,” say Cain, “so’s I kin git married, like you said, Lawd.” Well, de Lawd laughed and wawked on and left old Cain settin’ on de stump tryin’ to figger out what de Lawd was laughing’ at. To all at once hit come to him. “ Well, I be doggone! ” say Cain. “ Yar is me waitin’ for a woman to git married wid, and hit ain’t no woman on de yearth ceptin’ Eve, and she done married! Dat ain’t gittin’ nowheres! ” So he sot and figgered and figgered. So about dat time he yared somebody up in de tree singin’: “ I done done all I kin do, And I can’t git along wid you. I’m gonter git me another papa, Sho’s you bawn !” Page 14. So Cain looked up and seed a big gorilla gal prancin’ up and down de limb like a natchal-bawn woman. “ Hey-ho, Good-lookin’ ! ” say Cain. “ Which way is hit to town? ” “ What you tryin’ to do, Country Boy? ” say de gorilla gal. “ You tryin’ to mash me? I be doggone efn hit ain’t gittin’ so a gal can’t hardly git out’n de house to some of dese yar fast mens ain’t passin’ remarks at her.” “ I ain’t passin’ remarks,” say Cain. “ Ef’n I thought you was one of deseyar mashin’ men tryin’ to mash me, say de gal, I’d call de po-lice and they’d show you which way hit is to de First Precinct.” “ Looky yar, gal,” say Cain. “ I ain’t got no time to play wid you. I ax you a question and you better answer me right now. ’Cause ef’n you don’t I’m gonter bend you cross my knee and burn you up.” So de gorilla gal look like she’s mighty skeered. And den she sort of grins and slides down de tree and sets down by Cain.” “ I bet you kin handle a gal mean wid dem big old arms of yo’n,” she say. “ I bet you’s a mean scound’el when you gits mad. I sho’ would hate to git you mad at me, big boy.” Page 15. “ I’m purty stout in my arms,” say Cain, “ but I ain’t so mean.” “ You got a bad-lookin’ eye,” say de gorilla gal. “ I bet you’s mean to do womenfolks.” “ Naw, you got me wrong,” say Cain. “ I don’t b’lieve in whuppin’ a gal onless she makes me mad.” “ Well, I sho don’t want to make you mad, Big Boy,” say de gorilla gal. So they sot and tawked awhile and purty soon they up and got married and settled down and raised a family, jest like de Lawd said. And they peopled de yearth. PART I. THE OLD TESTAMENT. CHAPTER I. (Page) 01 THE CREATION AND FALL OF MAN. THE Old Testament commences with one of its most interesting myths, that of the Creation and Fall of Man. The story is to be found in the first three chapters of After the “ Lord God ” had made the “ Tree of Life,” and the “ Tree of Knowledge,” he said unto the man: “ Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, . . . “ And of the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto Adam.” j According to Persian legend, Arimanes, the Evil Spirit, by eating a certain kind of fruit, transformed himself into a serpent, and went gliding about on the earth to tempt human beings. His Devs entered the bodies of men and produced all manners of diseases. They entered into their minds, and incited them to sensuality, falsehood, slander and revenge. Into every department of the world they introduced discord and death.  THE CREATION AND FALL OF MAN. (Page) 15 A legend of the Creation, similar to the Hebrew, was found by Mr. Ellis among the Tahitians, and appeared in his “ Polynesian Researches.” It is as follows: After Taarao had formed the world, he created man out of aræa, red earth, which was also the food of man until bread was made. Taarao one day called for the man by name. “ When he came, he caused him to fall asleep, and while he slept, he took out one of his ivi, or bones, and with it made a woman, whom he gave to the man as his wife, and they became the progenitors of mankind. The woman’s name was Ivi, which signifies a bone.” The prose Edda, of the ancient Scandinavians, speaks of the “Golden Age” when all was pure and harmonious. This age lasted until the arrival of woman out of Jotunheim the region of the giants, a sort of “ land of Nod ” who corrupted it. Chapter III: Sin Chapter XIX: The Stratagem of Joshua Chapter XX: The Sun Trick Chapter XXII: Battling With Baal “ Roark Bradford of Nankipoo, in Lauderdale county wrote the John Henry stories and also the Negro folk tales in Ol’ Man Adam an’ His Chillun, which Marc Connelly made into the Pulitzer Prize play Green Pastures. |